We do so solemnly swear to uphold the sacred truths of our pickleball flock: that dinks should be crispy, and Cluck Ups are always welcome!
Thou shalt not take the game too seriously. Players might be 50+ years older than you, and they will happily kick your butt. Tap paddles and deal with it.
Thou shalt dink with reckless abandon. Even when it makes you look like a baby giraffe learning to walk.
Honor thy partner, but only when they don’t suck. If your partner keeps hitting the ball into the net, feel free to switch to singles mid-game.
Thou shalt mock your opponent lovingly. Unless they’re better than you – then mock them harder to assert dominance.
Thou shalt respect the kitchen. You can’t step in it, hover over it, or even think about it. Honestly, the kitchen rules feel like they were written by the same guy who came up with calculus.
Thou shalt not let thy ball go limp. A soft shot is great, but if your ball barely makes it over the net, you might need to talk to someone and get that checked out.
Thou shalt not pretend to know the score. No one knows the score in pickleball. If you say it confidently, people will just nod.
Thou shalt always blame external forces. Miss a serve? The wind got me. Smoke a drive into the net. The balls definitely cracked.
Thou shalt waste hours and hours watching random matches on YouTube. Nothing is better than realizing you just watched two retired couples play a rec game in Sarasota and forgot to eat dinner.
Thou shalt leave with a smile. Pickleball isn’t about winning. It’s about pretending you’re an athlete while secretly wondering if anyone brought donuts for after the game.
